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I would feed both myself and my fictional dog their food

November 2, 2010

This just in to Purple Pants, Green Jersey: It has been confirmed through a credible source (whose statements to me were self-verifying and indicated first-hand knowledge of the incident) that Randy Moss’s restaurant of disdain (and the new spin of the moment) is also a favorite of mine — Tinucci’s in Newport, Minnesota. I feel confident in reporting this without treading into murky journalistic waters as the biases I hold toward the involved parties essentially cancel each other out.

A recap of my biases: On the one hand, I love Randy Moss as much as I’ve loved any athlete not named Michael Jeffrey Jordan or Kevin Garnett. Dude is The Freak and the man that brought football insanity to my generation of Minnesotans. His place in this resurgence (along with booze and fantasy football) cannot be denied. Craziness and playing when he wants to play aside, I will miss him. I want to make excuses for him (even on the PI when he pretty much stopped playing), but this is too much. Not because of his behavior alone, but he did it to some people that are really good folk that serve really excellent food. Tom Colicchio or Gail Simmons, he ain’t.

Did I mention I really love Tinucci’s? Not just the restaurant, but the family, too. The food is unreal; it’s a classic American supper club with Italian roots. All you can eat prime rib on Saturdays is the stuff of boyhood dreams, but it’s the Italian sides that make it worth the trip. Cauliflower flowers, fettuccine, salad bar with bomb little shramp, an olive bar, and a whole slew of other goodies.  So good. I could go on for hours and turn this into Lottie and Doof, but I will spare you.

One last enabling of Randy: I think Moss’s vehement reaction causing Tinuccigate is more indicative of his hatred of anything related to Matt Birk than any culinary opinion he may hold. Jussaying.

UPDATE: I feel obligated to pass along one last tidbit. If you really feel like sticking it to Moss and rewarding a local family that serves up great chow, make sure to check out Colossal Cafe on the corner of 42nd St and Cedar Av S. It’s all in the Tinucci family and has some of the best sammies — breakfast and otherwise — in town. Shameless pluggings end here cuz I’m starvin’ like Marvin Harrison.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. November 2, 2010 11:02 am

    …Tinuccigate? I don’t even know what this is about. But what I can say is this: I will miss Randy Moss, too. The Randy Moss who could’ve just put his hands out and grabbed that TD on the PI play. I’m with you, Randy Moss got me watching football when I was a teenager who had only ever been a baseball fan (We’re gonna win Twins!). I miss Cris Carter more, though. ‘Cause Cris Carter was not only good, but he was smart and he was humble. I’d take a humble, hardworking Sidney Rice, Bernard Berian and Percy Harvin over a cranky-ass, I don’t care ’cause I’m only here for 12 games, I miss cuddling with Coach Bellicheck Randy Moss any day. Randy Moss is an AMAZING talent, he is Hall of Fame material no doubt. So I will never understand why he’s gotta have such an attitude. I like what the Packer fans have been propagating on Twitter: the Bengals should pick him up so that they can have a douchey wide receiver trifecta.

    When Childress said it was best for the team: I think he was *right*.

    And I’m not even on the Childress bandwagon anymore. They get rid of him, maybe they’ll upgrade with Lezley Frasier. (Or do what they should’ve done all those years ago: bring in Tony Dungy.. a man can dream, can’t he?) I just want this season to be over so that we can focus on rebuilding instead of on drama.

  2. bushytop permalink
    November 2, 2010 11:06 am

    i love the idea of moss to cincy. it goes along with my thoughts on another team that could use another prima donna wr — the dolphins. brandon marshall and randy together would result in a bodycount.

  3. November 2, 2010 5:08 pm

    I’m beginning to think this is the real reason Moss was released. I mean, who doesn’t love Tunnuci’s food? Blasphemy, I say. 😉

  4. November 2, 2010 5:09 pm

    ps. Feel free to bring over some Tinucci’s to me and my real dog anytime.

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