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Peter King, Chris Kluwe, and a Festivus Miracle

December 23, 2010

An avid World of Warcraft player, Vikings’ punter Chris Kluwe is no stranger to battling his opponents over the internet. Thursday’s opponent was of a different nature, however. Using his twitter account (@ChrisWarcraft), Kluwe took aim at Sports Illustrated writer Peter King.

The sparring began when Kluwe linked to a story explaining the difficulty of directional punting. King then wondered aloud why people were defending Giants’ punter Matt Dodge’s infamous line-drive punt.

What ensued would have made Frank Costanza proud; in the spirit of Festivus, the two spent the next hour airing their grievances.

King: “Amazing how many are working to find excuses for Dodge.”

Kluwe: “Amazing how expert some people are at things they don’t know how to do. Tell me, technically, what should he have done? Be precise please, including details such as his drop, his body angle, and the inclination of the ball.”

King: “Punt the ball out of bounds. An NFL punter should be able to do that consistently.”

Kluwe: “Was it a bad punt? Yes. But kicking it successfully out of bounds is not as easy as some would like to pontificate on.”

King: “It’s not my job. It’s yours. You and Dodge are professional punters.”

Kluwe: “Just as I thought. No idea on how to actually do it. Just a blanket statement of ‘Aim the Madden arrow and hit the button’. Tell me, do you frequently call for pitchers to ‘just throw strikes all the time’, or qb’s to ‘just throw a touchdown’? Right. It’s my job. So why am I the one unqualified to tell you just how difficult it actually is? #mindbottling”

King: “Don’t make act of directional punting rocket science.”

Kluwe: “… Don’t make act of directional punting rocket science. — It’s actually rocket surgery. #nerdjokeformyWoWpeeps”

King: “My last word on this: Coach has right to yell at player who errs. Dodge erred. Ridiculous to blame coach for what coaches have done for yrs.”

Kluwe: “Seriously though, if you want me to show you exactly what goes into it, I’d be more than happy to”

King: “Just off phone w/@ChrisWarcraft. He’ll write section of MMQB, with his feelings on directional punting, coach-reaming, etc. Should be great.”

The lesson in all this? There truly are happy endings. What started as an NFL player and writer exchanging verbal blows, ended in a Festivus miracle.

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